The stupidly titled "The Peach Keeper" centers around two former high school classmates, Willa and Paxton, and their respective grandmothers Agatha and Georgie. Willa is a reformed bad girl, living a boring life free of any shenanigans or interest. Also, she owns a camping supply store. Snooze. Paxton is the rich society girl with the heart of gold who can't stand disappointing her friends or family. Also, she has a big ass.
Paxton is the head of a women's auxiliary, and for their big annual gala Paxton is rebuilding the old Blue Ridge Madam, a grand home once owned by Willa's family but currently abandoned and derelict. During the renovations, Paxton's twin brother Colin uproots the lone peach tree on the property, and dun dun dun, skeleton! But who the hell is this fucker? Paxton and Willa, lesbian detectives, begin the search for the answer!
These smart cookies realize that maybe, just maybe the senior shits they call Grandmothers might know what happened since one of them lived there at the time of the murder and the other was her BFF at the time (Best Fuckin' Friend). Georgie is senile as fuck, so she's useless. Agatha, a crusty old bitch, gives the girls a straight up learning about the past.
Turns out the Skeleton belongs to a former traveling salesman, magician, and rapist Tucker Devlin. Oops, spoiler alert! Tucker comes into town, sweeps the ladies off their feet, rapes and impregnates one of them, and then bam! Murdered! Also, his family owned a peach orchard. Also, he smelled like peaches. Also, he's the titular "Peach Keeper". But just who murdered him? Read the damn book yourself, asshole. I'm not doing all the work for you.
This book is a quick read, a read in one sitting type of story. Sure, it's not going to be the best book you've ever read or a book that changes your whole life, but shut the fuck up. Sometimes book are just there to be enjoyed! Fuck! And I did enjoy it.
This is the first book that I've read by Sarah Addison Allen, and I'll probably go back for more. I like the everyday magic that this bitch writes. Fun characters, cool-ass location, ghosts...yup. Chick Lit no doubt, but I enjoyed it. 4 out of 5 Fucks Given.
I won't say there weren't items in this little treasure that annoyed me. The biggest was Sebastian. Don't make your super gay character magically turn straight just to get your happy ending. Fuck off Paxton, you love a gay dude. Also, as I've mentioned before, I hate the title. What the hell is a "Peach Keeper" anyway? You can keep books or bees or graves, but how the fuck do you keep peaches? Have you ever kept a peach for more than a week? Smooshy brown slop covered in fruit flies, that's what you get if you keep peaches. Pisses me off....
Buy The Peach Keeper here, keep some damn peaches
The Peach Keeper
Sarah Addison Allen
Published March 22, 2011, by Bantam
273 Pages
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