In this fan-fucking-tastic book, we have 3 sections, Rock Stars, Television Stars and Movie Stars. I was 6 the year this was published and the majority of the "Rock Stars" are a big fucking question mark for me. The TV and Movie Stars are a little more familiar, but if you weren't alive during the 80's this probably isn't the book for you. Unless you really live retro shit.
This book is a bloody rarity, so I will thoughtfully share some of the finer tidbits contained within for you unfortunate sucka ass suckas who will never be blessed enough to read it for yourselves. Here we go:
I eat cats and am obsolete!
ALF
Sign:"On Melmac, we have two signs, Sagittarius and non-Sagittarius. I'm Sagittarius."
Scott Baio
Hobby: He's collected pigeons since his days in Brooklyn
Nancy McKeon
Nickname: Faucet Face because she cries easily
and my absolute favorite
Malcolm Jamal Warner
Fantasy: To ride a flying unicorn into the future
But in all seriousness, I have no idea where this book came from or how I got it. I was pulling through some old boxes of books to give away and there it was, so I read it and had a good laugh. So many of these "Stars" are now black holes. Ha! See what I did there? Fucking amazing.
However, every once in a while I'd turn the page and see someone I recognize, like page 21, Johnny Depp; or page 65, Tom Cruise; or page 141, Madonna! Ooh! Aah! Amazingly enough, you can still buy this classic masterpiece, and buy it you should! In these trying modern days filled with assholes like Justin Beiber, One Direction and..er...Taylor Swift (I guess?), it's nice to open a book and see the plain ass faces of Nancy McKeon, Justine Bateman, and Mackenzie Astin. 3 out of 5 Retro Fucks Given.
Get you own flying unicorn here:
Teen Star Yearbook
Grace Catalano
Published by Paperjacks
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