Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, The Original Screenplay

I'll start off by admitting that I am a complete Potter-head.

I'll also mention that I am surprised that this is my first Potter book to review. Let's fucking go!

This is Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, The Original Screenplay, not Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, the Hogwarts Textbook, which I will review later. Also, SCREENPLAY assholes! That means it's written as a play, so if you are one of those morons who can't read a play then this isn't for you.

Beasts (as I shall now be calling it because I am not writing out that long ass title a million bloody fucking times), follows the awkward future author (of the long ass titled book above) Newt Scamander as he visits New York City in order to illegally purchase a beast (Appaloosa Puffskein to be exact) from a breeder. Newt is carrying with him a case, a case full of Fan-fucking-tastic Beasts, and can ou even believe it, they get out! Whaaaat!

Yup, that's how it begins. Also, that's all I'm telling you! Go read the book, or see the movie if you haven't already (it's good too).

Alright, as I mentioned, hardcore Potter fan here. How excited was I to read not only one but two new books within a year, even if they were both "plays" and not fully books? Now, if you were asking me prior to reading them which one I thought I was going to prefer I would have 100% guessed The Cursed Child. Can you guess with this is going? Yeah, motherfuckers, I liked Beasts better! I feel that Beasts succeeded where Child failed for a few reasons:

1. It is damn fun!-It feels like Jo's writing, which Cursed Child did not, and it doesn't take itself too seriously. Plus it's a nerdy Hufflepuff chasing crazy ass magical beasts around NYC. Cool beans y'all!

2. It stands on its own- sure, it's Potterverse, but is it really? It happened before Potter. You can enjoy this without needing to know anything about the HP series. Though you should know everything about the HP series because it's awesome.

3. Cool New Villian-Or is it villains? Read the damn book!

4. Cool New Good Guys- Newt took a bit of time to grow on me, but he got there. Besides, I can't help respect a dude out to help save animals. Also, possible Aspergers, or is he just awkward? Jacob was fun, he's who we'd be if we were in his place. You can't help but smile at Queenies antics, and Tina...well, Tina was there too.

5. Fantastic Beasts- Beasts! Hell Yeah! Did I mention he keeps them in his case? That he walks around with? And they are hella cool? Also, one is a Demiguise, and if you are a Potter fan you should already know what that is!


While I seriously hope that Cursed Child isn't the last we get of Harry, if it is I am happy to at least have Newt to fall back on now. I understand the plan is for 5 movies? So 5 screenplays? I can only hope so.

The book itself is a work of art. Beautifully designed with gorgeous little illustrations. Well worth having in any collection, especially for a fan of fiction, magic, and Potter.

Accio Beasts here!

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, The Original Screenplay
J.K. Rowling
Published November 18th, 2016, by Arthur A. Levine Books
293 Pages